Homesick

By Ashley Synowicki

We are not made for this world. I am sure of that now more than ever.

Before COVID-19, I was too comfortable. I was enjoying my routine and took comfort in the things of this world—things that are temporary and will forever pass away. My attention was not fixed solely on the One who is worthy of my attention. There were many circumstances I took for granted and are now turned completely upside down. You see, they were built on shifting sand. I was left confused and surprised by the number of things that felt out of place and how little control I had in my circumstances.

Over the last few weeks, I have experienced many different emotions—fear, anxiety, disappointment, frustration, loss, and anger. I’m sure we can all relate. Every time I leave home I am reminded of these uncomfortable feelings when I notice the lack of people everywhere. Everyone seems to have sad and solemn looks on their faces because of what our world is going through.

However, I have walked with the Lord through other difficult seasons, and I knew just what my soul needed. I’ve been in awkward and uncomfortable situations before . . . though none like this.

I called on my Heavenly Father. He is always ready and willing to meet with me about any concern, large or small. By bringing my concerns to the One who created this world, my feelings of fear and anxiety have thankfully melted away. He has taken my worries and changed my perspective. He took my burdens and, in their place, flooded me with surrender, peace, and stillness. I do continue to experience emotions of worry from time to time, although they are not nearly as loud now that I have my attention and thoughts fixed on things of eternal value.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.”

Matthew 7:24-25

Fear and anxiety feel a lot like a bully. They barge in and push me around. When I experience fear and anxiety, I am left feeling beat up and weak. Often times I don’t even see them coming. They catch me off guard and leave me reeling from their presence.

But my Father doesn’t want me to stay in that beat up and weak place. I am invited to bring all of those mixed up, depressing feelings to Him. He encourages me to go sit with Him and share my fears as though we were sitting face-to-face. I don’t have to cry out to heaven to be heard. He is sitting right next to me as He holds my hands. He looks into my eyes as I pour out all of my worries, big and small.

He is gracious and lets me share until I have said all that is within my heart. And with a kind and loving smile, He gently reminds me of all that is and always has been true: I am not made for this world. This is not my home, and I am not to get too comfortable in my time here on Earth. Unfortunately, that’s just what I had done. I’d been sidetracked by temporary things. Good things perhaps, but also temporary.  Yes, He provides blessings of every kind because He is a loving Father. However, those blessings are not meant to distract me from eternity. Instead, they are to be a glimpse at the hope I have in what is to come, a loving reminder of what my hope is built on. I was not created to live in such a fallen place.

I remind myself yet again that my joy does not come from this world. It comes from the Creator of it all. No matter the circumstance, I can smile and worship His holy name because of who He is. I smile because of the hope I have in Him. I am His child, and He is my God . . . Yahweh . . .  Abba Father. I know my future lies, not in the chaos of this fallen world, but in the heavenlies, seated for eternity at the right hand of my Father.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 15:13

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